Wedding Invites.. and more..

Went down to T-dragon on sat with dear to select our wedding invites.. it's super duper crowded!!! prior to that i actually went to their website to take a look and cant really see anythg i like.. luckily when we went down, the gal showed us some exclusive cards for Crowne Plaza couples.. the wedding invite has the hotel iconic motif which we like very much.. so after some (or rather lotsa) waiting and discussion, we just have to go back and come up with the layout and design.. which is the difficult part..

Sigh.. actually there's a lot more stuff for us to do and follow up on.. but i simply hav no motivation at all.. has been feeling really stressed and depressed recently.. it's not really the stress of hvg so many tasks to do.. tasks are easy to managed but it's more of the complications that arise now and then.. i simply cant take it anymore and break down in front of dear dear the other day.. i tink he's really shocked and dunno how to react.. he thot that it's due to that one incident but it's actually the pent-up stress and frustrations dat i have been holding back.. 

This is really unexpected cos im usually quite bo chap abt thgs.. very difficult to explain this feeling but if it's gog to be this way until the AD.. i tink im just gonna burst and die!!! 

Love Of A Lifetime?

Recently a spate of events sets me thinking.. 

wat will happen to my dear when i pass on? Will there be another love one in his life? How soon will that be? Will I still be his love?

On one hand I cant bear the thot of him with another gal.. but on the other hand I cant bear for him to suffer loneliness.. Dilemma... even thinking abt it now makes my heart ache.. 

Emo Me!

It suddenly dawned on me that it wasn't wat I thot it was.. I kept wondering why the feeling was so different this time round.. it's not that time of the month so it can't be PMS.. den I realised my expectations have changed and it leads to insecurity.. and me turns out to be super emo.. 

Gawd! i dun like this at all!!!

Tough Day..

Rem when we were kids we used to write composition starting off with: Today is my unlucky day..... well dis certainly describes my feelings rite now.. i shall not reenact wat happened today cos it's simply pointless.. 

just some thoughts: sometimes we try so hard to make relationships worked be it friendship or kinship.. but is it really worth the effort? sometimes it just takes dat one second to crush it and it will take much more time to build it back.. my dear asked me why am i so affected.. the answer? it hurts bcos I do care.. 

Happiness? Or Not..

Happiness is when i finally bot my pink sandals.. Not, when i scratched it on the 2nd day of wearing it!

Happiness is when i thot i can enjoy the experience of working at an outbound medical centre.. Not, when things get hectic!

Happiness is when im on leave on my bdae.. Not, when I got to slot in my physio appt on the same day!

Happiness is when my dear is coming back soon.. Not, if he got to be in isolation!

The most traumatising day of my life!

im typing out dis post using my left hand cos i hurt my right elbow.. boohoo.. damn inconvenient & irritating lar.. 

so wat happened is dat i fell backward while rollerblading at east coast last thurs.. *ahem* strictly speaking i fell while im standing arnd.. me, appu, dionna & dear dear were rollerblading near the fort road carpark and i stopped to take a break when i suddenly lost my balance.. out of instinct i stretched out my right hand to break the fall and i immediately knew i hav dislocated my elbow.. the bone was jagging out lor *eww gross!*

anyway they originally wanted to bring me to CGH A&E but luckily there's a heavy jam.. heh u must be tinking there's a typo right.. well it's not.. Appu decided to change plan & we proceed to SGH instead.. it's only when she called our boss later and we found out there's ortho dr on standby @ SGH whereas there's none @ CGH.. *phew*

anyway the wait is damn long & traumatising lor.. we rch the hospital at 7.30pm & finally got everythg done at 1am plus.. went thru sedation & reduction.. though the dr said that the reduction is nicely done, she recommended surgery so that i wont hav any implications in future.. damn worrying =S

so now here I am.. on MC till i go for review next mon.. im actually quite bored at hm.. me on sling so cannot play wii, cannot go gai gai, cant slp well at nite, hav difficulty doing stuff esp bathing!!! and i hav a phobia of my fav chicken wings now no thanks to Dr YCM!!! he says my elbow is exactly like how we snapped the chicken wings when we want to eat it.. *eeks!*

but anyway thanks to all my dear frens for the well wishes sms, msg, calls, visits, lots of food & flowers, thanks appu, dionna & dear for rushing & accompanying me @ the hospital.. love u all muacks!!! 

i still love u all despite ur different philosophies behind my fall.. some say my HEAVY body weight fell on my poor hand dat's y it's so serious.. some say my ample FATS protected my hand dat's y there's no abrasion or other injuries other than the dislocation.. some mentioned abt my CG dat's y i fell.. some asked if I hav to pay fine for causing damages to NEA properties when i fell.. some say it's like an elephant has stomped on my elbow.. not forgetting the chicken wings.. *arghh* watever!

分岔路口

不知不觉我走到了分岔路口。。 

这条路一直走得很轻松，不需要想太多就一直的往前走。。 

然而有一天，突然觉得我的脚步放慢了。。  似乎走累了。。

这才发现原来我已失去了方向。。 

停在分岔路口。。

我回想一路上的点点滴滴。。我获得了什么？

未来的路会是崎岖不平？ 还是一路直通目的地？

可是这条路程有多远。。 目的地是哪里。。

我完全不晓得。。

于是我开始犹豫。。

该往前走。。 还是该前往分岔路的另一个方向？

Disgusted!!!

I can't stand it anymore.. i find it totally disgusting.. i must blast this out!!! but then i can't blog out wat it is abt.. arghhh!!! %*&$@ tmd wtf!!!

wat I can say is that I despise and look down on this kind of stupid idiot.. come to think of it.. it shd be TWO stupid idiots!!!

SCRAM AS FAR AS YOU CAN!!!!!!!!!!

C'est La Vie...

... a french phrase meaning "that's life"..






has been feeling that life is exasperating at times... feel that i cant control most of the thgs dat happen in life recently... @ work; in relationships; in my own destiny... i can only follow where life leads me to...

@ work.. im getting more and more frustrated.. impatient.. .. really dun understand why pple say certain thgs or do certain acts for the sake of.. arghhh.. i also dunno for wat.. si bo liao de lor.. on some instances i wanted to flare up but i lun.. dunno how long it can last.. so pls lar if u hav got nothg better to say den pls shut up lar.. @#^$&*

in terms of r/s.. im not talking abt BGR but rather all kinds of r/s with pple arnd me.. it's really difficult to manage no matter how hard i try.. it's like the closer it is the greater the fear factor.. dunno how to elaborate but i guess life is not meant to be easy......

wanted to change the way thgs are now but i am so lost....

sooooooooo.. im back to my shopping spree mood!!! damn..



i bought a burberry bag after much thots!! not gog to reveal the price cos i know one kaypoh will go tell my mom and she will slaughter me and chop me up into pieces and store it inside my big burberry bag.. wahaha..

and i did eyelashes extensions for the 2nd time.. went to appu's sis-in-law salon to do it and i loved it! no longer have to go thru the trouble of putting on mascara and eyeliner early in the morning...

wat's more to come???

Complicated..

I don't like to think too much..  but sometimes I ponder over things endlessly..

I have trust..  but sometimes I lose faith in myself & others..

I am optimistic..  but sometimes I worry too much..

I am easy..  but sometimes I harp on things that don't turn out the way I want..

I love the people around me..  but sometimes they can do things that hurt immensely..

I am sensitive..  but sometimes I am over-sensitive to unintentional acts..

I am enjoying my life now..  but sometimes I sense uncertainties in my future..

I am simple..  yet complicated..  sometimes I don't even understand myself..

This Used To Be My Playground...

was in my fren's car and heard this song..  very sad..  

things are not the same as before..  whatever happened to the playground that held the childhood dreams?  it used to be a playground of pride and joy..  that no one in the world could dare destroy..  but why did it have to end?

This Used To Be My Playground

This used to be my playground (used to be)
This used to be my childhood dream
This used to be the place I ran to
Whenever I was in need
Of a friend
Why did it have to end
And why do they always say

Don't look back
Keep your head held high
Don't ask them why
Because life is short
And before you know
You're feeling old
And your heart is breaking
Don't hold on to the past
Well that's too much to ask

[chorus]

No regrets
But I wish that you
Were here with me
Well then there's hope yet
I can see your face
In our secret place
You're not just a memory
Say goodbye to yesterday (the dream)
Those are words I'll never say (I'll never say)

This used to be my playground (used to be)
This used to be our pride and joy
This used to be the place we ran to
That no one in the world could dare destroy

This used to be our playground (used to be)
This used to be our childhood dream
This used to be the place we ran to
I wish you were standing here with me

This used to be our playground (used to be)
This used to be our great escape
This used to be the place we ran to
This used to be our secret hiding place

This used to be our playground (used to be)
This used to be our childhood dream
This used to be the place we ran to
The best things in life are always free
Wishing you were here with me

S.A.D.

An unexpected incident happened which affects me a lot.. tears welled up in my eyes whenever i think about it.. how can such a beautiful thing turn out to be such.. really din expect it.. felt so helpless.. there's absolutely nothing i can do to help.. i am hoping and praying very very hard till it pains my heart.. dun wanna think about it but the images of the sad faces cant be shaken off.. how i wish it will go away soon...... as if nothing has happened..

Deja Vu Feeling

Have u ever had this kind of feeling?

all of the sudden u can sense a familiar feeling creeping up in ur heart.. makes u feel kinda lost.. sad.. frightened.. insecure.. not knowing wat it is and yet it seems so familiar.. u wanna chase it away but u dunno how to cos u dun even know wat it is..

u can only wait and wait for more waits till it happens.. and u realise wat it is but it's too late..